Get Out of My (Sub)Way

Typically, the subway is a real drag for most of us.  A necessary evil.  It's crowded.  Dank.  Unbearably hot in the summer, etc.   Let's not get into it.  We all know what it's like.

But for a surprisingly large number of people, the subway is a world of wonder...not the means to get somwhere but the destination itself.  I'm always behind these people.  I have to get to work.  People are piling up on the platform.  I hope I can get a place to stand.  And I am behind someone who is so overjoyed to get on this train that they must stop one step in and take it all in...causing me to either lose my spot... or a limb. 

You know how when YOU get on the train, you try to scuffle and find a place to stand or sit quickly because there are others behind you and you get a small window to board?  Yah, well, these people don't give a shit about you.  They take one step on the train - with 200 people behind them and stop abruptly.  So entranced by the moving soup kitchen that passes for public transportation in the city, they look around.  "Oh, should I sit there?  Maybe over there?  I think that person looks nice to sit next to.  Or maybe I'll stand!  There's so many options I'm just going to stand in everyone's way and...wait, what's that I hear?  Someone screaming in terror behind me that the doors are repeatedly slamming into their pelvis because I won't move my ass more than one step into the train?"